Mind the Gap!
On my way to a mediation recently, I was quite aptly reminded to ‘Mind the Gap’.
The difference between opposing parties’ positions in a dispute is often referred to as the ‘Gap’. Here are some of my favourite top tips to help you close the Gap in your next negotiation or mediation:
Look for mutual gains – this will help parties to move away from positional bargaining and achieve more beneficial and sustainable agreements
Avoid the Blame Game – this will only get the other parties’ hackles up, no-one wants to be wrong.
If you play the blame game, they will focus on defending their position rather than on how to resolve the issue
Be Curious, Probe - to find out what you don’t know or understand, seek clarification to see if there is any substantive information they have that you don’t that may inform the negotiation space
Shift focus - If the other party makes the first offer (drops the anchor) and its too high/low, move the focus away from it and try to discuss the issues further and better inform them
Reciprocate - and spell it out, generally people are hardwired to feel obligated when someone has provided them something of value – but you must explain it. Mirroring is a powerful motivator of behaviour, show a willingness to moderate demands/offers if they do, in the interests of trying to reach a compromised outcome
Acknowledge – don’t ignore the elephant in the room, it might grow heads and block your deal. If something terrible has happened, don’t hide from it, rather acknowledge it, don’t be afraid to show empathy and bring humanity to the negotiation table